Friday, December 27, 2013

What NEEDS to happen in 2014

I am not one for making new years resolutions.  I set goals for myself and work all year to meet every goal and  self expectation I have for me.

 In 2013 I had a few goals.
1. Leave Amazon- Good company to work for, but I knew they weren't using me to my potential.  I know now I am struggling with finding a job, but I am seeking jobs that I want and doing all I can to make sure I can easily get better jobs than that.
2.  Get in a better mental place- this was very important to me. I had ups and downs with depression this year, I never want to get in to a dark place again.

In 2014 these things have to happen.
1. I NEED to be teaching not want NEED. I know now that I have a confidence in myself that I am a good educator and I need to be molding the next generation.
2.   I need a steady job. Yes, it needs to happen I have to get my own place again no matter what. The Lozano's need to both be working so we can Finally settle down.  ( Both of us)
3. Education is everything to me, need to get onto this doctoral school route
4.  I need to educate the world about fibro

I know I can and will do these! 

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Merry Christmas

 I use this blog as an outlet I don't know how many of you read it. However; I did just want to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas ( Happy Holidays if we are being PC) . May your days be blessed!.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Most wonderful time of the year?

So I had an appointment with my OB GYN yesterday that was recommended to me by my other doctors when I moved back home. ( She is amazing her and my other doctor trained together so they are a lot alike). The appointment was good but it came with big decisions that my husband and I have to make.
Basically we are going to try clomid 1 more time to see if I can ovulate. basically I will be on 50 mgs. for 3 months and then if I am still not ovulating the dose will increase to 100 mgs ( Which we don't want to do unless we have to because that increases the chance of pregnancy and multiples) If that fails we have to decide whether or not I want to go through with other testing to see why I am not getting pregnant. This is hard because I am uninsured. Sooo yea. That leaves me with pretty much no options. I don't want to do in-vetro and all other methods are expensive. So basically I left the appointment depressed because finically I can't afford to go through any testing etc. So Adoption is very high on the list of possibilities. Not that we can't have a baby naturally but I am not going into debt and putting myself through all of this physical and emotional stuff. It's been hard enough as it is. so that is the deal. Adoption is a wonderful thing, and anyone with information on good agencies etc please pass it along

Musically things are getting intense.  I did two band concerts in a week and then I have 3 performance gigs before Christmas. I love this time musically its busy and I NEED to be busy. 

School Starts back up in Jan.  Excited yay

Other than that... Fa la la la la

Sunday, December 8, 2013

FAQ Time!

 In the middle of this flare I am going through I wanted to take time to answer frequently asked questions. I get these about my life, my condition, and the things that I do.

Q:   How old are you?
A:   27

Q:  What is your job?
A:  Well, that depends on the day, and the time of the year.  The General answer is I teach.  However; I currently am not in a particular school district nor do I have my teaching certification.   I travel around teaching in various places.  Schools, Senior Centers,  Summer programs. Everywhere.

Q: You are always in school, How many degrees do you have and will you ever stop going to school?

A: LOL I am your textbook "Professional Student" I am always in school or taking some sort of class.  Currently the highest degree I've earned is my master's degree.  I have about 48 hours of post masters work ( Leading to an advanced certificate) and I am currently taking classes in special education so I can get my teaching certification.   I am not stopping until I am  Dr. Lozano,   I consider myself to be a lifelong learner. I promote that heavily in all that I do.

Q:   Single? 
A: Nope happily married :)

Q:  Do you have any hobbies? 
A: Yes, doesn't everyone? LOL Mine are reading, crafting, and volunteering

Q: Any special talents other than the music thing?
A: No special talents persay lol, I accepted a call to God and became an ordained minister. I am also an activist for various things. Disability rights, Human rights, Gay Rights just to name a few.  I try to become knowledgeable about many different things. I don't like being bored.

Q:  You have seem very positive about your fibro experience, how do you manage to do that despite your pain? 
A:    I have been through a lot in my life, not just fibro. I began my life as a fighter and I've been doing so every since.  The doctors never gave me a chance at life. Pretty much, if I hadn't died the doctors predicted that I would have serious mental and physical problems that would prevent me from leading a "normal" life.  Well... you see what happened there.  Yes, I had limitations being blind in one eye but I was raised like a "normal" kid and taught to adapt to my situations.  I never knew anything different. I just made life work for me. That is what I continue to do.     Admittedly,  fibro has caught me a little bit off guard but I was determined not to let fibro run me.  Yes, I try to keep a smile on my face because if I didn't honestly I'd be really hard to be around, it would be so depressing.  I am just real honest with myself. I am in constant pain almost every day.  Some days pain is tolerable, others it is unbearable at times. Good days and bad, I can't shut down.   There are days when I have to just stay in bed,  I will get up to do the basic essentials but at least I am getting up.  Sometimes I can roll all day like the energizer bunny it just depends.  Regardless, of the severity of the pain I try to get up, say hi to someone and then go back to bed. :)

Q:  How has fibro impacted your busy crazy schedule?
A:  Honestly, a lot.  At 27 I never thought I would have to slow the heck down so much.  I have recognized this though. I am FINALLY! After a year and a half almost, accepting this fact and trying to adjust my life accordingly.    I still "try" to move around and do everything I used to do. ( I was a music major so I was constantly going and going. Sometimes only on limited amounts of sleep and 1 meal a day)  However; I have learned to listen to my body more and stop when I need to.

Q: Can you find a steady job?
A: I hope so,  honestly it has been difficult since leaving Amazon. Due to limitations with my visual impairment ( The fact that I am not able to get my drivers license) and the limitations due to fibro ( decreased strength in my hands and the inability to lift more than 10 Lbs ect) It has been a challenge but I am hanging in there and still looking. My dream job is to teach at a College or a University and I am still working towards that.

Q:  Has fibro made you unable to do many things you used to do?
A:  Yes, but that doesn't stop me from doing them.

Q: What keeps you going? 
A: GOD, My Family and my Friends.

Do you do anything to promote fibromyalgia awareness? 
A: Yes, Education is the key and that is what I do.

Have you found support groups helpful? 
A: See my blog  How Fibro Heros Saved my life

Will you answer other questions? 
A: Yes, I am an open book pretty much. If it gets too personal I will tell you.

Thanks for reading. I hope this has answered any questions you have had.  Contact me if you want to know more :)