Thursday, November 1, 2012

When life gives you lemonade and ice... Spike it and have a freaking drink!

  I haven't wrote a thing in here since the end of September,  and it is now November 1st and I am finally able to post.

October had to be the freakiest month ( and no not because of Halloween)  I've ever experienced.  Why? Well.. lets start at the beginning.

In every woman's life we all go through that lovely time of every month , well since Don and I are trying and have been trying to have a baby, we've tracked my cycle and my body has been working like clock work.  Well at the beginning of October, right when my cycle was set to begin, it NEVER Came! This was alarming but I didn't think much of it until about 2 weeks later and still nothing! Within those two weeks I'd gained weight, been sick every day, been tired but surprisingly fibro symptom free.  Being free of pain from fibro was new since it's been about a year now since I started really having trouble but boy did I feel great! We are talking pain from 10 down to 3's 2's and 1's and sometimes NO Pain at all!  This was great I felt wonderful, but was still having other symptoms like I was pregnant. So I decided to take my first home pregnancy test.  When the test came back, it was negative I thought OK, I'll wait another week before taking another home test and also schedule an appointment at my OB/GYN's office to really confirm or deny this.  A week later I was nervous and took the second home test ( mind you with these same symptoms) and it too came back negative!

By now I am scared but didn't let the negative tests deter me as I know that this happens sometime.  I waited until my OB appointment to really get some clarifying answers.  So we went on October 16th and we spoke with the nurse, she told me I was 6 weeks along if I was pregnant but we wanted to take a blood test for sure.  Waiting on those results were like waiting on the results of a DNA test to prove your innocence or something it was HELL!  When the results came that day, that was the low blow that we were indeed NOT expecting. So it was devastating.

Two days later we were back in my OB's Office mauling over possibilities, she ruled out any serious health concerns like cancer or cysts, and dropped the next bomb on us that we should test for infertility.  This was the breaking point for us both.  Our emotions had been through every single extreme in 2 weeks. Excitement that we might be pregnant- to Devastated that we weren't pregnant to scared that there was something wrong with my body, and now we were scared that we might not be able to have kids at all.  We scheduled my husbands testing for a week after that appointment, and the week leading up to it all was so long and HELLISH!  He was scared, I was scared, and we were both completely stressed, emotional and just at our wits end, not to mention that Flow at this point had STILL not made an appearance but I still had all of these symptoms.  

My Husband had his testing for infertility and the results were done in 45 minutes, we found out we can produce and everything is above normal.  More emotions right? Yep!

Finally after about 2 months of no Flow and all of this drama, we researched and confirmed that I was probably indeed pregnant and miscarried early. So another low blow. On October 23rd I noticed huge chunks of tissue within my discharge and brownish blood.  Three days later FLOW decided to come back with a vengeance, fibro symptoms came back full force and yeah things are "My normal"

This has certainly been a hellish month and an experience emotionally. We just thank God for the blessings we do have in life and we are still trying to have a baby we aren't giving up but there you have it folks!


God Bless!

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