Missing my stepdad like you wouldn't believe.

  So for the last few weeks I've had a lot weighing on my mind, and the one person I know that would have been impartial to anything I had to say is in heaven.  I so badly wanted to call my stepdad to vent to him about something, and literally went to dial the number and went " Oh s*****"  then I curled up and broke down in tears.  

Its been a little over a year since he passed and so much has changed so quick.  There are things that I always thought he was wrong about and it turns out he was bloody right! ( I am sure he is saying " See I bloody told you!")  I miss the fact that I could ask anything and he always had an answer for me, good bad, BS :), Corny it didn't matter he figured out away to answer my question or give me advice about something.  

Never take your loved ones for granted. We aren't promised tomorrow. Love and appreciate everything, the good, bad, BS or corny.  Cherish it all because you will miss it and the ones who fed it to you. 

I love and miss you Mr. David more than you know. 

Inner Vs. Outer Beauty

   You know, I've never been into the way I look, or the way anyone looks for that matter.  I believe that true beauty is on the inside, and no matter how much make up you wear, how expensive your clothes and accessories were, or how good your hair looks, you better have the personality to back all that materialistic crap up.

When I met Don, we fell in love with each other's personalities, and voices, we had no pictures to go by, therefore; when he met me he saw Me, hair was a hot ass mess, I was in a 7 year old pair of jeans ( Still have) a nice short sleeve stripped shirt ( still have) and a blue sweat jacket ( still have that too) and no make up whatsoever, in fact I'd came running from some class I was in that day when he laid eyes on me in person for the very first time.   He was wearing a pair of black jeans, a red turtle neck, a pair of black boots, a black leather jacket and a hat that reminded me of a limo driver.

My God I remember that very first encounter at WLSC  We had to search for a parking place on campus before we could even get settled in, and I remember getting into his rental, and directing him out of the road and into a safe parking lot  down in the beta hall parking lot.  He turned off the car and we both looked at each other, and I said "Hi!" he said "Hi" back, we both had this cheesy freaking grin on our faces, and he kissed me so passionately that I don't ever think I will forget.  :) :) Ahh but I digress,  My point is, I am happily married now, and you know what? I am still the same person, but my husband tells me all of the time that I look "beautiful", "Gorgeous", "hot" and "Sexy".  I never really believed him, because growing up, with the exception of some family who knew Me for Me, no one else gave a crap about my inner beauty, they focused on the outer.  Now, my family is pretty good looking if I do say so myself, so I know I've got the outer beauty, but I also know too that I've got inner beauty to match. I think for the most part I am kind and  to everyone I met, and I try to be friendly if someone has another opinion, please share.


This is for anyone who's been told they weren't pretty, cute, handsome, never worth any guy/ or girl's time of day because of looks.  Well guys, take a look at yourself. Check the inner beauty, doll that up, make yourself look amazing on the inside and you will feel better and look better ( healthier ) on the outside too.


* KE*

My Fibromyalga Journey

I refuse to be highly medicated, or let this condition take over my body.
Yes, I am in constant pain, and some days are better than others, but with love, support and major changes to my lifestyle I know I am going to be able to function as I did before this diagnosis.

My journey started about 3 years ago when I would constantly get muscle spasms in my back, I took muscle relaxers and went to physical therapy for a few months and things got better. A few months later, the spasms returned and after constant trips to the ER they told me the condition was chronic but they ( ER Docs ) couldn't diagnose me with anything since they only deal with acute cases. I chalked everything up to "its going to come and go"
Fast forward to 2011, pain got worse and it was to the point where I was not sleeping at night. I went to my primary doc and explained this to her, she said "I think its fibromyalga" but she gave me muscle relaxers and said take them at night to help you sleep. This was OK for a few months but then the pain got so bad during the day, during the night, whatever I did was not working and I never took pain meds until I was done working and functioning for the day, therefore making the meds useless. Once the pain got to the point where my husband could not touch me, and everything no matter what I did hurt. It was affecting my marriage, my work performance, and my mood which was usually content. I went to my doctor this past week and pretty much told her, I dont want to rely on pain meds, and I was at a loss of how to effectively manage this without it.

Her response was this: " You don't want to be dependent on pain meds... thats fair" the question is now how do we manage this.
Here were her suggestions
She prescribed Cymbalta ( which I've heard mixed reviews about I am trying it to see how it works for me) which won't knock me out during the day but its supposed to help "lessen the blow" its not a pain killer but it calms the nerves down thus making pain that would be a 10 decrease to like a 7 which is good for me :) I'll take any relief and only take my flexeril when I have a flare up. Which I am OK with since flares are going to happen and the flexeril works but its not good all of the time.


I am on a strict exercise routine I have to walk at least 30 minutes a day
Avoid Caffine
Cut out the things that trigger your stress its important one of my stresses is the fact that I am dissatisfied with my job, and I am unable to sit for a long period of time so I cut way back on my hours and am going to work in short spurts
Get counseling- I am joining support groups and seeing a therapist to help with managing stress levels.


I hope these help someone.

This is my 3rd day into this routine, I havent noticed a change yet, but I am staying positive and patient.

I'll keep you all posted


Much Love!
God Bless