Today was my 6 week postpartum visit to my OB. I have grown to love and trust Dr. Gordon. From the jump start of me seeing her, she always had my best interest in mind and I'll tell ya the woman never gave me any bull shit. In fact, one of the reasons why I love her so much is that she tells you like it is and is super down to earth. She will give you her recommendation and let you make your own decisions.
We discussed a lot. For starters my vitals were awesome, and I lost 30lbs! yeah I was stoked about that. I also passed my blood sugar test. This was a real bonus for me, since I thought for sure I'd be a diabetic considering all of the issues I had during pregnancy. But I passed and all is well. My blood pressure had also been on a scary increase, and that was also down. I am healthy and "back to normal" lol I can hardly say I am normal but this is all great news.
What came with this visit was the discussion of birth control. I laughed about this, because I've been married for almost 5 years now and have never had this discussion with my OB/GYN before. My whole plan for 4 years was always to try and have a baby. So it was fun and she gave us many options but also cautioned me that I really needed to let my uterus heal at least for a year and preferably 2. This made alarm bells go off in my head. Why? Well, the other part of the visit was spent talking about future pregnancies and deliveries that I would have.
I asked if there was ever a chance I'd deliver naturally. She didn't say yes or no, but she asked me this question and I'll be honest it was something I needed to hear. "To you what is magical about a vaginal birth?"
My answer " Honestly, Nothing other than the fact that I'd be able to do it"
She said "fair enough I totally understand, but I'll be honest with you labor is seriously like the worse flu you've ever had in your life and honestly not all its cracked up to be."
Basically in her opinion for a patient such as myself a repeat C section would be the goal, she said if I went into labor and things were going well, then heck yes its a blessing we are pushing that baby out BUT the odds of that happening are not in my favor. She told me I am always going to be an extremely high risk pregnancy. ( I knew this )
Statistically I am going to be a diabetic, and will end up with preecampsia again. It may not be as bad as it was but yeah. What sucks about it is that its pregnancy and I am at the mercy of Hormones LOL sooooooooo yeah. But that also makes me wonder if a second child is really a good idea. Its my decision but its a really hard one. If I wait 2 years or even 1. Age is also a facotor in risks too.
2 years puts me at 31 on top of the high risks that I am. So yeah it was a lot to take in and its a lot to think about.
I am just grateful that I found this practice, and the Drs and Midwives in it. The whole practice saved my life and helped me bring a beautiful healthy and happy baby into this world and I am just blessed.
Oh Yes, Speaking of Baby, She is 6llbs 2 oz and growing by the day. Healthy as can be.
Hubby might have a new job
Things are well with our family. I am blessed.
:)
Monday, May 11, 2015
Sunday, April 19, 2015
My Birth Story
I guess I will preface this, with Yes, Esperanza is here! How she got here... well here is my story. I like many first time mom's had this dream of that perfect birth. You know the one with your husband by your side and midwives and nurses telling you to push and breath because things would be okay and you were gonna bring a baby into the world in 0.2 seconds with just that One last push... Well It was anything but that, but equally as exciting.
March 23rd- I noticed a lot of swelling in my feet and my BP had been on a steady incline. Esperanza was passing her Non- Stress Tests with flying colors and no one seemed to worry except for me.
March 27th- Baby Shower Weekend I finally got to go home and see my family who I hadn't seen in almost a half of a year. That 3 hour drive was so grueling not to mention my feet were swollen now to the point of walking and shoe wearing were almost impossible. I spent most of that weekend with my feet up and had a lot of people worried because the swelling was so bad. Check out the pic below.
March 29th- The Drive back to Toledo was equally as brutal and now, I had ditched shoes and went for slippers. My feet again were massively swollen and now I had chest pains and a massive freaking headache. I thought well swelling is "normal" headaches are an every day occurrence for me and the chest pain well... that was new but meh I'll mention it tomorrow when I see my doctor. Here is the pic of my feet 2 days after my shower.
March 30th- My weekly appt with my OB I show her pics and share my symptoms oh and I should mention now that my BP was dangerously high.She wasn't concerned too much about the swelling but the headache and chest pain was a cause for concern so she sent me to labor and delivery for a preecampsica work up and told me "Well we might deliver today" " I'll let you know later this after noon" I was supposed to work that day and she said if you go home today you are on bed rest you are done working like now. So I spent all day in L&D getting a battery of tests done. They sent me home at 10 30 that night with strict instructions to be on bed rest and not to over do it. My doctor wanted to "Buy time" and I was only 34 weeks and 5 days.. All the while Espy is doing great.
March 31st and April 1st- I continued to feel like crap. Even through I hated bed rest there was nothing I could do I couldn't walk I was very uncomfortable I was miserable. Headache never fully went away in fact it came back with a vengeance. The only thing stopping me from going into the hospital Weds. was that it was April Fools and no one would have believed me that there was something going on and more so, I had an appt at the hospital early Thursday Morning with Maternal Fetal Medicine and I planned then to tell them my symptoms.
April 2nd- I arrived for my NST ( non stress test) as I normally did but this time things were a bit different. My BP was super high and there was protein in my urine. I am now almost to the point of tears and just absolutely 100% a mess. I asked the nurses to call my doctor and tell them what I am experiencing, I said if you guys don't then I will. I am not leaving here today something is very wrong. They continued my appointment with my scheduled ultrasound and everything looked good with the baby, but I felt like crap. A doctor comes in and says " So they are recommending delivery" I am like "What?" luckily I came prepared ( I had a hunch that I'd be admitted) What I didn't expect was the next hour. Long story very short I was told I'd be having a C-section as my doctor didn't think I could deliver naturally. I thought because I had eaten and taken insulin already that I had to wait 8 hours before they could do the surgery. This was good because it gave me time to let my family know to just get to the hospital ( They had a 3 hour drive).
Enter Dr. Gordon, She asked me how bad I wanted to deliver naturally, and then with great concern says " I am not a fan of that " she then says something to the effect of look you are really sick, if this was something elective we could wait, but you are sick and we just can't wait. We need to get this baby out and you better in the next 2 hours. The longer you stay pregnant the worse it is going to be for both of you. Now, I am already freaking out internally but now I am like OMG 2 hours? my husband pipes in and says " 2 hours from when?" Dr Gordon says " 2 hours from the moment I made this decision 5 minutes ago" We both were like well alright! I then call my family again and tell them t hey are going to miss the delivery because its an emergency but just get up there whenever they could without breaking major laws LOL.
Everything happened so damn fast all I know was that I was in the OR by noon and at 12:46 this happened.
Esperanza Faith- Denise Lozano
4/2/15
12:46 PM
4LBs 11oz
16 1/2 inches
My child was perfect and did not see the NICU despite being 5 weeks premature.
It wasn't what I envisioned but it was perfect and my story. 17 days later she is perfect and a joy to our lives. Finally after all of the struggling and tears. We have our miracle baby.
Mommy and Daddy Love you so much Esperanza
March 23rd- I noticed a lot of swelling in my feet and my BP had been on a steady incline. Esperanza was passing her Non- Stress Tests with flying colors and no one seemed to worry except for me.
March 27th- Baby Shower Weekend I finally got to go home and see my family who I hadn't seen in almost a half of a year. That 3 hour drive was so grueling not to mention my feet were swollen now to the point of walking and shoe wearing were almost impossible. I spent most of that weekend with my feet up and had a lot of people worried because the swelling was so bad. Check out the pic below.
March 29th- The Drive back to Toledo was equally as brutal and now, I had ditched shoes and went for slippers. My feet again were massively swollen and now I had chest pains and a massive freaking headache. I thought well swelling is "normal" headaches are an every day occurrence for me and the chest pain well... that was new but meh I'll mention it tomorrow when I see my doctor. Here is the pic of my feet 2 days after my shower.
March 30th- My weekly appt with my OB I show her pics and share my symptoms oh and I should mention now that my BP was dangerously high.She wasn't concerned too much about the swelling but the headache and chest pain was a cause for concern so she sent me to labor and delivery for a preecampsica work up and told me "Well we might deliver today" " I'll let you know later this after noon" I was supposed to work that day and she said if you go home today you are on bed rest you are done working like now. So I spent all day in L&D getting a battery of tests done. They sent me home at 10 30 that night with strict instructions to be on bed rest and not to over do it. My doctor wanted to "Buy time" and I was only 34 weeks and 5 days.. All the while Espy is doing great.
March 31st and April 1st- I continued to feel like crap. Even through I hated bed rest there was nothing I could do I couldn't walk I was very uncomfortable I was miserable. Headache never fully went away in fact it came back with a vengeance. The only thing stopping me from going into the hospital Weds. was that it was April Fools and no one would have believed me that there was something going on and more so, I had an appt at the hospital early Thursday Morning with Maternal Fetal Medicine and I planned then to tell them my symptoms.
April 2nd- I arrived for my NST ( non stress test) as I normally did but this time things were a bit different. My BP was super high and there was protein in my urine. I am now almost to the point of tears and just absolutely 100% a mess. I asked the nurses to call my doctor and tell them what I am experiencing, I said if you guys don't then I will. I am not leaving here today something is very wrong. They continued my appointment with my scheduled ultrasound and everything looked good with the baby, but I felt like crap. A doctor comes in and says " So they are recommending delivery" I am like "What?" luckily I came prepared ( I had a hunch that I'd be admitted) What I didn't expect was the next hour. Long story very short I was told I'd be having a C-section as my doctor didn't think I could deliver naturally. I thought because I had eaten and taken insulin already that I had to wait 8 hours before they could do the surgery. This was good because it gave me time to let my family know to just get to the hospital ( They had a 3 hour drive).
Enter Dr. Gordon, She asked me how bad I wanted to deliver naturally, and then with great concern says " I am not a fan of that " she then says something to the effect of look you are really sick, if this was something elective we could wait, but you are sick and we just can't wait. We need to get this baby out and you better in the next 2 hours. The longer you stay pregnant the worse it is going to be for both of you. Now, I am already freaking out internally but now I am like OMG 2 hours? my husband pipes in and says " 2 hours from when?" Dr Gordon says " 2 hours from the moment I made this decision 5 minutes ago" We both were like well alright! I then call my family again and tell them t hey are going to miss the delivery because its an emergency but just get up there whenever they could without breaking major laws LOL.
Everything happened so damn fast all I know was that I was in the OR by noon and at 12:46 this happened.
Esperanza Faith- Denise Lozano
12:46 PM
4LBs 11oz
16 1/2 inches
My child was perfect and did not see the NICU despite being 5 weeks premature.
It wasn't what I envisioned but it was perfect and my story. 17 days later she is perfect and a joy to our lives. Finally after all of the struggling and tears. We have our miracle baby.
Mommy and Daddy Love you so much Esperanza
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
7 weeks left.
I am 32 weeks along and being induced at 39 weeks. This is all getting real to me now. I am so excited to hold and meet my bundle of joy I just can't contain myself. Esperanza looks great she is so beautiful! and she is very healthy.
Praying things continue to go well for her and for me.
3/10/15
Chewing on her hands already :)
I am totally in love with this girl :) She has her own personality and everything!
Praying things continue to go well for her and for me.
3/10/15
Esperanza with her hand and foot in her face. It was 8 am,
:No pictures mom!!!
Chewing on her hands already :)
I am totally in love with this girl :) She has her own personality and everything!
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Its a GIRL!
I am going to be 20 weeks tomorrow and we just had our gender ultrasound today.
ITS a BABY GIRL! Esperanza Faith- Denise Lozano
Happy and healthy! :)
AHHHHHHHH Blessed and excited
ITS a BABY GIRL! Esperanza Faith- Denise Lozano
Happy and healthy! :)
AHHHHHHHH Blessed and excited
Thursday, October 9, 2014
For the first time, I feel at peace.
As I get through the 10th week of my pregnancy ( Yes 10 I can't believe it either) I can't help but feeling blessed and admittedly a little on the nervous side still. All tests and ultrasounds so far show that I am healthy and Baby L is healthy. ( My Baby L is beautiful). However, with this joy still comes the pain of me missing my Angel baby. I will never forget my Angel baby and although it was pretty much said that the pregnancy never established ( Egg was absorbed before sperm had a chance to implant) I still will have that grief and memory of those weeks two years ago.
I smile because I am happy to know that I have a healthy baby inside of me right now and I am healthy too. I smile now even though I approach the 2 year anniversary of loosing my Angel baby because last night I got a phone call from my best friend. She told me about a dream she had just woke up from and had to call me right then. She dreamed that she was in a place filled with fluffy clouds and the background was pastel very pretty orange and pink colors. In the dream she walked across this calm place and heard the laughter of children, she then came across a room with many children lying in cribs dressed in white. She said they were all laughing and were happy. She said that a baby came up to her with a mixed ethnicity and was happy and laughing and beautiful. She said that the babies were of all ethic backgrounds but this one in particular looked Part African American and Part Hispanic. Her question to me was : " Homie, do you think this was Angel baby?"
My answer: "No doubt in my mind at all" She told me that she woke up before she could see gender but all she knew as she was holding the baby was that Angel baby is happy and beautiful.
I hadn't ever got to the point where I started imaging what my baby would look like at that point but I was happy to know that my best friend someone I love and trust got to see and hold the baby that I didn't get to hold and tell me that my baby was safe and happy.
It gave me peace and comfort that I haven't felt since all of this happened. It also gave me reassurance that Baby L is meant to be and Angel Bro or Sis just wanted me to know that they were okay and to get ready for Baby L.
I cry as I write this but it is tears of joy.
October is infant and Prengnacy loss awarness month
RIP to my Angel Baby ( 2012)
We love you so much
Love Mom, Dad, and Baby L.
I smile because I am happy to know that I have a healthy baby inside of me right now and I am healthy too. I smile now even though I approach the 2 year anniversary of loosing my Angel baby because last night I got a phone call from my best friend. She told me about a dream she had just woke up from and had to call me right then. She dreamed that she was in a place filled with fluffy clouds and the background was pastel very pretty orange and pink colors. In the dream she walked across this calm place and heard the laughter of children, she then came across a room with many children lying in cribs dressed in white. She said they were all laughing and were happy. She said that a baby came up to her with a mixed ethnicity and was happy and laughing and beautiful. She said that the babies were of all ethic backgrounds but this one in particular looked Part African American and Part Hispanic. Her question to me was : " Homie, do you think this was Angel baby?"
My answer: "No doubt in my mind at all" She told me that she woke up before she could see gender but all she knew as she was holding the baby was that Angel baby is happy and beautiful.
I hadn't ever got to the point where I started imaging what my baby would look like at that point but I was happy to know that my best friend someone I love and trust got to see and hold the baby that I didn't get to hold and tell me that my baby was safe and happy.
It gave me peace and comfort that I haven't felt since all of this happened. It also gave me reassurance that Baby L is meant to be and Angel Bro or Sis just wanted me to know that they were okay and to get ready for Baby L.
I cry as I write this but it is tears of joy.
October is infant and Prengnacy loss awarness month
RIP to my Angel Baby ( 2012)
We love you so much
Love Mom, Dad, and Baby L.
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Blessings and a Miracle
New Job!
New School year!
New Faces
New Kiddos to mold
New Music
New Life
totally blessed.
After a 3 year battle with infertility I am expecting!!!! :) :) :)
Praying for healthy baby growth for the next 8 months :) :)
Blessed!
New School year!
New Faces
New Kiddos to mold
New Music
New Life
totally blessed.
After a 3 year battle with infertility I am expecting!!!! :) :) :)
Praying for healthy baby growth for the next 8 months :) :)
Blessed!
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